Northern Ireland Community Relations Council - About Us - News - Taking time out to offer the most precious present of all

04 January 2012

'A TIME for giving’ is a festive expression that is often overshadowed by chaotic high streets thronged by last minute shoppers and a general air of sale frenzy, but two people who very much live by this selfless adage 365 days of the year is husband and wife team, Willie and Eva Wallace. Belfast News Letter 3.1.12

The Wallaces have been giving up their free time to help people affected by the Troubles since 2006 and just recently their dedication to this cause saw them rewarded with the Overall Befriending Excellence Award at the Omagh-based Gift of Time Awards.

The couple, who were acknowledged for their noble devotion to befriending those affected by the Troubles in the Fermanagh district, rightly accepted the accolade that was awarded by the Northern Ireland Community Relations Council, which has been the authority responsible for creating a host of likewise befriending services province-wide.

Willie, an ex UDR soldier, and Eva, a housewife, were like everyone else gearing up for Christmas and the New Year when they spoke to the News Letter, but they were also making time for those affected by the troubles, whether they were previous members of the security forces, widows and family members, and more recently, a younger generation of people in need of friendship and a shoulder to lean on.

“Last winter was really bad,” recalled Eva, when asked if the festive season was a particularly demanding time for their services.

“The weather meant it was difficult to get out to people’s houses, but we had one befriender whose son took his tractor out to make sure we got to see people over Christmas,” she added.

Between them, Willie and Eva have befriended around 14 people affected by the Troubles, whether that’s emotionally, mentally or physically.

“In 2006 research was published about post-traumatic stress as a result of the Troubles,” began Willie. “The government then put aside £400,000 for a much needed befriending service and that’s when we began to take part and set up our own service from our kitchen table.”

Willie and Eva know full well the lasting impact the Troubles can have on people in society. Willie served in the UDR, and since retiring suffered a brain haemorrhage brought on by post-traumatic stress, while Eva recalls the torturous days and nights waiting at home with the kids for Willie to return from work.

“I was constantly worrying that the next knock on the door would be the police and I could never ever settle until I saw Willie’s car come up the driveway,” she said.

Willie added: “I was constantly checking under my car for explosive devices. It was a very stressful job, but there are some people out there who since retiring have been unable to detach themselves from that lifestyle and that’s where we come in.”

“They can be people who served, to those affected indirectly but what we’ve found is a new demand for support for a younger generation,” explained Willie.

“With the unemployment rate being at its highest in decades, we are finding there is a lot of pressure on young people and they too have a great need for support.”

The range of support Willie and Eva provide as befrienders differs depending on the person.

“Some people might just want some conversation because they’ve isolated themselves from the rest of society,” added Willie. “While some may need our assistance to help them carry out everyday tasks such as visits to the post office or filling in forms.

“It all depends on the person. Some we may visit every week or some we may call out to see once a month for a cup of tea. Each person has their own specific requirements and we gauge what they are,” he continued.

“What we do is try and find a reason for them to enjoy life,” added Eva.

“We occasionally take them out on trips or we’ll home in on a hobby they’re passionate about and encourage them to make that their focus,” she said.

“We have one person who we visit who has this real passion for birdlife and in 2012, he’s going to make it his mission to photograph every species of bird that lands on his property and you can just see the enthusiasm he has now he’s got a plan in motion,” said Willie.

While allocating an hour here and there for people in need may seem to some a feasible service they could slot into their lifestyle, the reality is, there is a lot more to befriending than making home visits.

“Befrienders are constantly going through training. There is a standard practice to follow and each befriender must undertake the adequate process,” Willie clarified.

“The training is constantly evolving as befrienders come across new experiences. We are continually learning and we need to do that to equip us to deal with all sorts, from mental health issues to suicide awareness. We are vetted too.”

“There’s a lot of red-tape,” added Eva. “Our kitchen table is a mess with paper work. We do have to follow legal regulations and we need to make sure everything is in order, even our own vehicle insurance.”

After dedicating six years to the service on a completely voluntary basis, and making themselves indispensable to those in need, Willie and Eva were still shocked when they were awarded the Overall Befriending Excellence Award at the Gift of Time event by television broadcaster, Paul Clark.

“I had to turn to the person beside me to make sure I heard right,” said Eva.

“There were people at that event who have great office set ups in place for their befriending service and some are core funded so we thought they would get it but it was absolutely amazing to be recognised,” she continued.

Willie was also delighted with the acknowledgement but quick to point out that he and Eva don’t actively seek praise.

“We do this service because we know the effect the Troubles have had on people. Between us, Eva and I have a policy not to blow our own trumpet but what we would like to do is highlight the service that is available to those in need.

“Joan Clements, the development officer for CRC (Community Relations Council) has been a rock in all of this. She has been the heart and soul of organising these groups, as has Eileen McGlone who piloted the entire befriending programme - without them, this service wouldn’t be available and we’re extremely appreciative of their guidance,” he said.

n Befriending services are available for anyone in the community in need of support, whether that’s young people suffering from depression or those affected directly by the Troubles. Groups are set up province wide by the Northern Ireland Community Relations Council. For more information, log on to www.community-relations.org.uk.